This is the article I wrote in December 2014 upon the passing of my mother-in-law Lillian Cassidy.
It is with great regret I report the passing of my beloved mother-in-law Lillian Cassidy in the early morning hours of December 10, 2014. She was 97 years old and the last surviving member of her generation of the Jezek family.
Lillian was born March 29, 1917. Lillian’s parents Emilie and Anton Jezek were Czech immigrants who leased a farm in Abbot, TX, a small town located a few miles from Waco. Lillian was the youngest of 14 children, all of whom were birthed in the farmhouse. Talk about an extended family! Here is a picture of the daughters taken when Lillian was just a baby:
Emilie and Anton never learned English, so Czech was Lillian’s first language. You would never know it from her soft Texas accent. Whenever she and her siblings didn’t want the kids to listen in on a conversation, they would speak in Czech (much to the kid’s chagrin).
Here is a popular family portrait:
While she had plenty of siblings, Lillian’s childhood had some serious disadvantages. Her parents were old enough to be her grandparents and, given the many duties on the farm and raising all of the kids, they had little time or energy to spare for the youngest. The oldest siblings, in turn, were old enough to be her parents and could not really relate with the baby of the family. I think it gave her a feeling of being isolated in the middle of a crowd.
In spite of these challenges, Lillian developed to be a lovely young lady. I particularly like this picture where she is looking directly into the camera with a shy Mona Lisa smile. She was 14 to 15 years old when this was taken.
Here is another picture with her mother and sisters, probably taken when she was in her twenties:
During World War II, Lillian served as an airplane mechanic (yeah, really!).
In 1949, Lillian married Donald F. Cassidy and subsequently gave birth to Margy and then to twin sons James and John.
Mr. Cassidy died in 1963. Now completely on her own, Lillian stretched her budget to send her children to private schools. This took a fortitude that I cannot imagine.
Lillian joined a department of the Federal Housing Administration in charge of building code inspections. She first worked as a secretary. Eventually, she learned more about the job than most of the inspectors. After surviving many trials to prove her capabilities (she was only a woman, after all), Lillian was finally promoted to construction analyst.
It wasn’t smooth sailing from there on. When she found out that another analyst with less experience was making a larger salary, she confronted her supervisor. He didn’t bother to deny it.
“Of course he has a bigger salary. He has a family to support.”
Flabbergasted, Lillian replied, “But what about my family? I’m raising three children by myself.”
“You need to get a man, Lillian!” was his response.
Fortunately, she survived that manager until a better supervisor came along. Lillian spent a total of 28 years at the FHA before retiring.
Lillian was a talented gardener and crafts person who created festive cakes, holiday wreaths, and other decorative items. She loved to read and stayed well informed on many topics, especially current events. Lillian also enjoyed classical music, traveling, dining out, movies, pet sitting, shopping with Margy, and visiting her numerous brothers and sisters.
Lillian also lovingly cared for her Katy, a stray cat she took in a decade ago.
One of the highlights of her overseas trips was a visit to her parent’s native country of Czechoslovakia. Despite the fact that Lillian was born and raised in Texas, she still spoke Czech fluently enough to converse with the locals.
In 2009, the Jezek family held a reunion West, TX where many of the Jezek descendents still live (West is only 7 miles from Abbott). When even a fraction of the Jezek descendents get together, it’s a big crowd!
As the last survivor of her generation, Lillian was the queen bee of the reunion along with her niece Lill who was only a few years younger.
Here is a picture taken of the kids and their spouses. From left-to-right, Margy’s husband Dan, Margy, James, John, and John’s wife Janet.
I also set up this picture of five generations of Jezeks:
Lillian’s niece Barbara is with her son Mike and grandson Charlie. Mary is a grand-niece with her son Ted and granddaughter Thora. The babies are a generation apart even though they are only a few months different in age.
Lillian spent her last decade in an independent living home in Mesquite, TX. While her long-term memory was reasonably intact, her short-term memory degraded over time. She remembered who we all were, but holding a lengthy conversation became more and more challenging as she had difficulties remembering what she said only minutes before.
Despite these problems, Lillian retained her good humor and sunny disposition right to the end. When asked if she remembered to put in her hearing aides, she delighted in answering, “Yes, all three of them!”
There are some advantages to forgetfulness. When her niece Lill passed away in 2013, Lillian didn’t think to ask why Lill no longer called. And when the West Fertilizer Company plant exploded on April 17, 2013 near her home town, Lillian remained blissfully unaware of the tragedy. Incidentally, the West mayor Tommy Muska is, you guessed it, one of the Jezek descendents.
When Margy and I got involved, I soon learned how close she was to Lillian, even more than the usual mother-daughter bond. It would have been understandable for Lillian to feel some jealousy at the diversion of Margy’s attention from her to me. Then we moved from Texas to California. I know this separation was difficult for Lillian.
But there was not one trace of bitterness in her attitude toward me. We had a great relationship and always got along very well. Lillian wanted Margy to be as happy as possible, even at the expense of her own needs. This is who she was.
So I have a great deal of love and respect for Lillian. She was a gracious, caring mother who fought against incredible odds to raise her children as best she could. She was a great mother-in-law who made this world a better place. It is a loss to all of us that she has passed away from it.
Rest in peace, Lillian.
Dan Blanks