***********************************************************
CHARACTERS
LESTER -- A laboratory scientist and superhero sidekick.
Lester is a middle-aged, bald, bespeckled, slightly paunchy
man wearing a laboratory coat. This guy was born wearing a
pocket protector (and still wears one).
LESTER_TWO -- A future version of Lester.
TELEVISION ANNOUNCER -- Seen doing a news broadcast.
DARKFORCE -- A supervillain.
HYPERMAN -- A superhero.
TYRANTMAN -- A supervillain.
ZARTOG -- Commander of an alien armada.
ALIEN CREWMEMBER -- A member of Zartog's crew.
CINDY -- A laboratory scientist and close friend of Lester.
CINDY is a middle-aged woman who wears a white laboratory
coat and thick-rimmed glasses. She is a female counterpart to
Lester.
CINDY_TWO -- A future version of Cindy.
***********************************************************
INT. LESTER'S LABORATORY - DAY
A television monitor shows a pitched battle between HYPERMAN
and DARKFORCE in progress in the middle of a decimated city.
Lester watches the monitor with great concern as he hurriedly
adjusts the controls on a chamber approximately the size of a
phone booth.
TELEVISION ANNOUNCER
The battle appears to be going
badly for Hyperman. According to
our reports, Darkforce has somehow
managed to increase his power level
by a factor of 4. Hyperman has
fought valiantly, but it seems only
a matter of time--
Lester picks up the TV remote and mutes the sound. He regards
the mayhem on the screen with a pained look on his face, then
turns to make final adjustments to his equipment. He picks up
another remote, its button protected by a plastic cover. He
steps into the chamber and speaks into the microphone on his
headset.
LESTER
This is it. I've done my best. I
can't be sure my calculations are
ready, but--
Lester looks at the television screen. Darkforce is beating
Hyperman to a pulp.
LESTER (CONT'D)
--I can't wait. Cindy, if this goes
wrong...you know how I feel. At
least, I hope you know...
Lester flips back the button guard. The button lights up.
Lester puts his thumb over the button and starts to press it.
Before he can do so, a bright light appears. A ripping sound
echoes through the lab.
[LIGHTS OUT]
[TEAR PAPER!!!]
[LIGHTS ON]
LESTER_TWO, a naked version of Lester, appears out of the
light, smoke rising off of his body. He falls to the floor,
somewhat battered. This version is not wearing glasses.
LESTER_TWO
Oh, WOW. I really hoped that was
going to kill me. But this is the
next best thing.
LESTER
Wha...what...what are you...?
LESTER_TWO
I'm happy to explain. But first,
PLEASE PUT DOWN THAT BUTTON.
LESTER
I...I can't. I have to help
Hyperman--
Lester_Two rises gradually, painfully.
LESTER_TWO
I can help you save Hyperman. Trust
me, he can handle Darkforce for
another few minutes.
On the monitor, Hyperman rallies for a moment, knocking
Darkforce several miles away. It's clear from Hyperman's
exhausted expression that it is only a temporary reprieve.
LESTER_TWO (CONT'D)
Please — put down the button and
hear me out.
Lester considers this for a moment, then puts the remote on a
shelf in the booth. However, he leaves the button guard off.
LESTER_TWO (CONT'D)
Thank you. Say, could I borrow your
coat?
Lester takes off his lab coat and, cautiously, holds it out.
Lester_Two takes it and puts it on.
LESTER_TWO (CONT'D)
That's better. Time travel is cold,
so cold that even I felt it. It's
been so long since I felt cold--
LESTER
Are...are you saying you're from--?
LESTER_TWO
Yeah, the future. Well, maybe a
possible future. I dunno--
LESTER
That's IMPOSSIBLE. This would be a
TIME PARADOX--
LESTER_TWO
Oh, PLEASE. How many arguments can
we make to get around time
paradoxes? Five, maybe six off the
tops of our bald heads?
Lester shrugs in agreement.
LESTER
Even if I believe you, how did you
get here? The energy requirement
for a time warp--
LESTER_TWO
Two colliding black holes.
LESTER
...yeeaaah, that would do it. But
how did you survive the trip?
LESTER_TWO
Because of what you are about to
do.
LESTER
NO WAY. Sure, I should become
highly RESISTANT to harm, but what
you're suggesting is--
LESTER_TWO
I didn't start out this tough. My
power grew over time.
LESTER
My calculations don't predict that.
LESTER_TWO
(sarcastically)
Your "calculations" are incomplete.
Your understanding of what you are
about to do is even more
incomplete.
LESTER
Granted. But...it must have worked-
- right?
LESTER_TWO
At first, I wasn't sure. I went
through the transformation, but I
didn't have time to test my new
powers. I had to go help
Hyperman...
EXT. DECIMATED CITY - DAY -- FLASHBACK
Lester_Two lands in a hovercraft. His lab coat and clothes
are tattered and scalded, as if he has been in a fire. His
glasses are gone.
LESTER_TWO (V.O.)
I didn't know how to fly yet, so I
took the hovercraft. By the time I
got to the city, it was almost TOO
LATE.
Hyperman is unconscious. Darkforce holds Hyperman up by the
collar with one hand while savagely beating him with the
other.
Darkforce sees Lester_Two.
DARKFORCE
LESTER! Hyperman's trusted
sidekick. So glad you decided to
join us. I'm looking forward to
turning your head into PASTE. Hang
on--I'll be done in a minute.
Lester_Two gets out of the hovercraft. He tries his best to
put on a brave face, but it is clearly an act.
LESTER_TWO
Why...why wait? It doesn't look
like Hyperman is going anywhere.
Darkforce looks down at Hyperman, then back at Lester.
DARKFORCE
You know, maybe you're right.
Darkforce drops the unconscious Hyperman onto the ground and
walks toward Lester_Two.
DARKFORCE (CONT'D)
After what you did to me in
Helsinki--
LESTER_TWO
Yeah, I got you pretty good, didn't
I?
DARKFORCE
Yeah, you did. But I've QUADRUPLED
my power level since then.
Darkforce stops in front of Lester_Two.
DARKFORCE (CONT'D)
Your science weapons can't stop ME
anymore. Even your glorified
protector couldn't handle me--and
neither will you, you little PRICK-
-
Lester_Two closes his eyes and grits his teeth as Darkforce
jabs a punch at his face. The collision of Darkforce's fist
with Lester's face makes a giant clanging sound. Lester_Two
hasn't moved at all. Darkforce grimaces with pain, grabs his
hand, and gapes at Lester_Two in astonishment.
Lester_Two smiles with surprised relief.
LESTER_TWO
You sure about that?
Lester_Two hits Darkforce with a devastating uppercut.
Darkforce is hurled straight up. Lester_Two looks up, amazed
as Darkforce goes out of sight.
Lester_Two rushes over to Hyperman, who is just stirring.
HYPERMAN
Les...Lester? That you?
LESTER_TWO
Yeah, pal, it's me. How you doin'?
Lester_Two helps Hyperman to his feet and leads him to the
hovercraft. Darkforce comes back down and hits the ground
with a resounding BOOM. He is quite unconscious. Hyperman
stares at Darkforce.
HYPERMAN
Worse than some, better than
others. I guess your experiment
worked.
LESTER_TWO
Yeah, it worked GREAT.
HYPERMAN
Lester, I'm worried. We still don't
completely understand the theory--
LESTER_TWO
It's okay, Sam. I'm fine--
LESTER_TWO (V.O.)
But I wasn't fine.
INT. LESTER'S LABORATORY - DAY
Lester_Two sits in a chair, still exhausted. Lester hands him
a cup of hot cocoa and sits down in another chair.
LESTER_TWO
I had super strength, a high
resistance to harm, I could fly,
and I could blast energy beams out
of my hands. After a few months of
training, I thought I had my powers
figured out.
BEGIN MONTAGE
Lester_Two wears a superhero costume, complete with a cape.
He is still overweight and not at all muscular. He does not
look like a superhero.
EXT. VARIOUS OUTDOOR LOCATIONS - DAY
LESTER_TWO
I went on missions with The League.
Lester_Two and The League fly through the sky in formation
LESTER_TWO (CONT'D)
I fought supervillains.
Lester_Two smacks another generic supervillain silly.
LESTER_TWO (CONT'D)
I rescued people.
Lester_Two uses his force beams to vaporize an avalanche of
rocks before it can fall on a European village.
LESTER_TWO (CONT'D)
I saved a lot of lives.
A crowd of people cheers and waves as Lester_Two flies over.
He smiles and waves back.
END MONTAGE
Then, one day, The League and I
faced off against a supervillain
who called himself Tyrantman.
LESTER
Tyrantman?
LESTER_TWO
Hey, I don't pick these morons'
names. Still, he was tough enough.
The League engaged him while I was
saving Pompei from the Vesuvius
eruption--
LESTER
Vesuvius erupts again?
LESTER_TWO
Let's not get distracted. We're on
a clock here.
LESTER
Ooookay--
EXT. ANOTHER DECIMATED CITY - DAY
Several superheroes, including Hyperman, lie unconscious on
the ground, their costumes in tatters. Tyrantman stands over
them, gloating.
LESTER_TWO (V.O.)
By the time I got there, Tyrantman
had plowed through the entire
League.
Lester_Two flies onto the scene. Tyrantman is unimpressed.
TYRANTMAN
LESTER, THE SIDEKICK TURNED
SUPERHERO. I just tossed the entire
League around like ragdolls. None
of them were able to stop me. You
aren't going to--
LESTER_TWO
WAS able to stop you.
TYRANTMAN
What?
LESTER_TWO
WAS able to stop you. In this
context, "none" is a singular noun,
so it's "None WAS," not "None
WERE."
TYRANTMAN
Okay, GRAMMARLY MAN. None of them
WAS able to stop me. What chance do
YOU have?
LESTER_TWO
Try me.
TYRANTMAN
Happy to oblige.
Tyrantman aims a barrage of energy blasts at Lester_Two. They
have no effect. Lester_Two stands there unfazed.
TYRANTMAN (CONT'D)
That...that's IMPOSSIBLE.
LESTER_TWO
My turn, DIPWAD.
Lester_Two aims a short blast of energy at Tyrantman. The
blast extends from Tyrantman's head down to his knees.
When Lester_Two stops, all that's left of Tyrantman is his
legs from the knees down. One leg topples over, followed by
the other.
Lester_Two is shocked. He didn't expect THIS result.
LESTER_TWO (CONT'D)
HOLY, MOLEY.
INT. LESTER'S LABORATORY - DAY
LESTER
You--you KILLED him?
LESTER_TWO
Hey, I didn't MEAN to. As a
precaution, I fired my beams at
their lowest possible energy level.
I didn't think they would affect
him at all. Instead, I vaporized
him.
LESTER
Maybe he wasn't that tough after
all?
LESTER_TWO
Oh, yeah, he was. In fact, at my
initial power level, he would have
kicked my ass. A few months later,
he wasn't even a challenge.
LESTER
How...how could your power increase
by that much?
LESTER_TWO
I had no idea. It was terrifying.
But before I could figure it out,
we had to deal with an invading
alien armada.
LESTER
A WHAT--?
EXT. OUTER SPACE - NIGHT
Lester and several other heroes fly toward a massive fleet of
spaceships. The ships surround the heroes.
INT. DECK OF THE ALIEN ARMADA COMMAND SHIP
An alien crew works the ship's controls.
The alien commander ZARTOG stands before a monitor. Hyperman,
Lester_Two, and other superheroes are visible in the monitor.
ZARTOG
THIS IS COMMANDER ZARTOG OF THE
GALACTIC ALLIANCE FLEET. WE ARE ON
A VITAL MISSION TO ERADICATE THE
DECIMATOR. WE WILL COMMENCE FIRE IN
THE TIME PERIOD YOU CALL "ONE
MINUTE." WE ADVISE THE REST OF YOU
TO GET OUT OF RANGE.
EXT. OUTER SPACE - CONTINUOUS
Hyperman, Lester_Two, and other heroes float in space. The
ships in the armada aim their weapons toward Lester_Two.
There is a rising whine as the weapons ramp up to fire.
HYPERMAN
What? Who are you? How can I hear
you--?
ZARTOG
YOU ARE HEARING MY THOUGHT
TRANSMISSIONS. WE ARE NOT HERE FOR
YOU. WE ARE HERE FOR THE ONE YOU
CALL "LESTER."
Lester_Two looks puzzled.
LESTER_TWO
What? Me?
ZARTOG
WE DETECTED ITS ENERGY EMISSIONS
FROM FIVE GALAXIES AWAY. IT MUST BE
ANNIHILATED! YOU HAVE FORTY-FIVE
SECONDS.
HYPERMAN
What's your problem with Lester?
ZARTOG
IT IS THE DECIMATOR, THE END OF ALL
THINGS! WE MUST DESTROY IT WHILE WE
CAN--IF WE CAN. GET AWAY FROM IT IF
YOU WISH TO LIVE. THIRTY SECONDS!
HYPERMAN
Now look, whoever you are--
Lester_Two flies away at high speed.
HYPERMAN (CONT'D)
Lester, what are you doing?
LESTER_TWO
I won't risk the rest of The League
getting hurt. Stay where you are.
I'll lead them away.
The alien armada flies after Lester_Two. The League tries to
fly after them, but they cannot keep up and fall behind.
ZARTOG
FIFTEEN SECONDS. FIRE ON MY
COMMAND.
LESTER_TWO
Please, can we talk about this?
What have I done wrong?
ZARTOG
YOU ARE ABSORBING DARK ENERGY AT A
GEOMETRICALLY INCREASING RATE. THIS
WILL SOON DESTABILIZE THE HIGGS
FIELD, CAUSING A FALSE VACUUM
DECAY.
Lester_Two stops flying. The armada arranges its ships around
him.
LESTER_TWO
Dark energy? I've been tapping into
dark energy?
ZARTOG
DID YOU NOT REALIZE THIS?
READY!
LESTER_TWO
No, I...wait...did you say, false
vacuum decay?
ZARTOG
AIM!!
LESTER_TWO
Please, I don't understand--
ZARTOG
FIRE!!!
Energy beams from the alien ships converge on Lester_Two from
all directions. Lester_Two isn't bothered at all.
ALIEN CREWMEMBER
SIR, WE ARE EXCEEDING OUR MAXIMUM
LIMITS--
ZARTOG
INCREASE POWER. CONTINUE FIRING!
ALIEN CREWMEMBER
SIR, OUR SHIPS' ENGINES ARE
OVERLOADING--!
ZARTOG
CONTINUE FIRING!!!
A few ships explode, then some more. Still, the remaining
ships keep firing.
ZARTOG (CONT'D)
HUMAN, LISTEN TO ME.
LESTER_TWO
Yes, I hear you.
ZARTOG
WE FAILED TO GET TO YOU IN TIME.
YOU MUST FIND A MORE DESTRUCTIVE
FORCE THAN WHAT WE CAN CONJURE.
DESTROY YOURSELF BEFORE--
Instrument panels on the ship start exploding. Alien
crewmembers are thrown around the deck and blown to pieces.
They make terrible screeching noises as they die.
ZARTOG (CONT'D)
--IT IS TOO LATE.
The command ship explodes. One by one, the remaining ships
also explode. Lester_Two is left alone in space. Debris
drifts all around him.
The rest of the superheroes catch up and surround Lester_Two.
Everyone has a stunned expression. The superheroes stare at
Lester_Two with a mix of concern, awe, and terror.
INT. LESTER'S LABORATORY - DAY
Lester stares at Lester_Two with the same look of concern,
awe, and terror.
LESTER
False--false vacuum decay?
Lester_Two nods.
LESTER_TWO
You know what that means.
LESTER
That would destroy the entire
UNIVERSE.
LESTER_TWO
In an instant.
LESTER
...oh, my stars...
LESTER_TWO
I soon confirmed it. The alien was
spot on about my absorption of dark
energy and the false vacuum decay,
which would occur in weeks, perhaps
days. I couldn't find any way to
shut off my powers. As the alien
said, my only recourse was to
destroy myself.
LESTER
You...you tried to KILL yourself?
LESTER_TWO
The operative word is "TRIED"...
BEGIN MONTAGE
OUTER SPACE SCENES FOLLOWING LESTER_TWO'S DESCRIPTIONS
LESTER_TWO (V.O.)
First, I flew into the center of
the Sun. Nada.
Then, I hunted down a supernova. No
go.
Next, I crashed into an exploding
magnetar. Bupkis.
Finally, I dove into a black hole.
Zippo.
END MONTAGE
LESTER_TWO
Nothing worked. Nothing could kill
me.
LESTER
So you tried two colliding black
holes.
LESTER_TWO
Yeah. While I hoped for the best
or, um, the worst, my calculations
showed even that much destructive
power might not suffice. To hedge
my bets, I took the time machine
with me and set it for these
coordinates.
LESTER
That old thing? I never thought it
would work in practice. The energy
requirements--
LESTER_TWO
--are astronomical. The black hole
collision did the trick. The time
machine was atomized, and the trip
was pretty rough, but thanks to my
invulnerability, I made it.
LESTER
Okay, you're here. Now what?
LESTER_TWO
My stay here is limited. Any moment
now, I'll snap back to my time.
Shortly after that, I'll trigger
the false vacuum decay, and there
goes the universe.
LESTER
Then...what's the point of this
trip? What do you want ME to do?
LESTER_TWO
Battered as I am, I'm still
impervious to harm. There's no way
to destroy me. Our only hope is for
you to NOT PUSH THAT BUTTON.
LESTER
Can't YOU stop me? You could
disintegrate me or the equipment--
LESTER_TWO
I'm still too weak from the trip to
use my powers, Lester. It's all up
to you. It's YOUR decision.
Lester hesitates for a moment. Then he rises from his chair,
goes over to the booth, and picks up the remote. He looks at
it longingly. The light from the button illuminates Lester's
face from below in classic supervillain fashion.
[PAUSE A BEAT]
Then, Lester flips the protective cover back on. The button
light dims and goes out.
LESTER
I really wanted to be a superhero.
It was my dream.
LESTER_TWO
OUR dream, Lester. And, at first,
being a superhero was great--until
it wasn't.
LESTER
Hey, what's happening to you--?
Lester_Two starts to fade from view.
LESTER_TWO
YOU DID IT, LESTER. My timeline is
being destroyed. I'm fading from
existence.
LESTER
WAIT.
Lester gestures to the television. Hyperman is still getting
his ass kicked.
LESTER (CONT'D)
What about Hyperman--?
LESTER_TWO
Oh, RIGHT. Get Weapon X-12.
LESTER
Weapon X-12? What good will THAT
do--?
LESTER_TWO
TRUST ME, LESTER. Weapon X-12.
It'll trigger T.P.D. for Darkforce.
LESTER
OH. T.P.D.! Okay.
Thanks. Thanks for...for
everything.
Lester_Two is almost invisible now.
LESTER_TWO
No, problem, pal. And remember —
you don't always have to be super
to be a hero...
Lester_Two fades away. The empty lab coat floats to the
floor.
EXT. DECIMATED CITY - DAY
Lester arrives in his hovercraft. This time, his lab coat and
clothing are intact. He is also wearing his glasses.
Darkforce is hitting Hyperman like before. As Lester lands,
Darkforce sees him.
DARKFORCE
LESTER! Hyperman's trusted
sidekick. So glad you decided to
join us. I'm looking forward to
--
LESTER
OH, SHUT UP!
Lester pulls out the Weapon X-12 rifle, aims it at Darkforce,
and presses the trigger. Nothing seems to come out of the
rifle, yet Darkforce stiffens and jerks as if he is being
subjected to a massive electric shock. Stiff as a board,
Darkforce falls forward and hits the ground face-first with a
satisfying THUMP.
Lester rushes over to Hyperman.
HYPERMAN
Les...Lester? That you?
LESTER
Yeah, pal, it's me. How you doin'?
Lester helps Hyperman to his feet and starts leading him to
the hovercraft. Hyperman stares at Darkforce's unconscious
form.
HYPERMAN
Worse than some, better than
others. I guess your experiment
worked.
LESTER
Well, not exactly.
HYPERMAN
Then, how did you--?
LESTER
Weapon X-12. It caused Darkforce to
suffer T.P.D. — TOTAL POWER
DEPLETION. He's an ordinary human
now.
HYPERMAN
Weapon X-12? All that does is shoot
out a beam of neutrinos. How did
you know it would work?
LESTER
Hindsight.
HYPERMAN
What?
LESTER
I'll explain later. Come on. Let's
get you back to the lab. I'll fix
you up, then I need to dismantle my
equipment...
Lester helps Hyperman into the hovercraft.
CUT TO:
INT. LESTER'S LABORATORY - CONTINUOUS
Cindy enters the lab.
CINDY
Lester? Are you here? Have you
heard about what's going on in the
city?
She looks around and spots Lester's headset in the booth. She
hurries into the booth, puts on the headset, and hits the
play button.
LESTER (O.S.)
This is it. I've done my best. I
can't be sure my calculations are
ready, but...I can't wait. Cindy,
if this goes wrong...you know how I
feel. At least, I hope you know...
The playback ends.
CINDY
Oh, Lester, what did you do?
Cindy spots the button still sitting on a shelf in the booth.
Curious, she picks it up and flips back the protective cover.
The button lights up.
A bright light appears. A ripping sound echoes through the
lab.
[LIGHTS OUT]
[TEAR PAPER!!!]
[LIGHTS ON]
A naked version of Cindy, CINDY_TWO, appears out of the
light, smoke rising off her body. She falls to the floor,
somewhat battered. This version is not wearing glasses.
CINDY_TWO
Oh, WOW. I really hoped that was
going to kill me. But this is the
next best thing.
CINDY
Wha...what...what are you...?
CINDY_TWO
I'm happy to explain. But first,
PLEASE PUT DOWN THAT BUTTON...
