One of the writing prompts in my Writing for TV and Film course was “Dawson’s Creek if Dawson was gay.” Alrighty, I said. Here is the script that came out of that prompt. I didn’t exactly make it a duplicate of Dawson’s Creek. I hope I made it my own thing.
THE SETTING: a nondescript high school located in a rural
Texas town in 1982.
ACT I
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD -- DAY
COACH TURNBILL is pacing back and forth in front of the
bleachers. The football players, in full gear, sweaty and
exhausted, are seated on the bleachers.
COACH
WE HAVE FOUR DAYS TO THE
CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. NORMALLY, THERE
WOULD BE AT LEAST ONE MORE PRACTICE
BEFORE THE GAME. BUT IN THIS CASE,
WE ARE MAKING AN EXCEPTION. SOME OF
YOU NEED TO HEAL UP. SOME OF YOU--
Coach Turnbill stops and glares at quarterback BUSTER
SPENCER.
COACH (CONT'D)
--NEED TO STUDY FOR YOUR MATH
FINAL, WHICH, I AM TOLD, MUST BE
PASSED FOR YOU TO STAY ELIGIBLE TO
PLAY IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.
YOU WILL STUDY FOR YOUR TEST, YOU
WILL PASS YOUR TEST, YOU WILL BE
ELIGIBLE TO PLAY THIS SATURDAY. DO
YOU UNDERSTAND?
PLAYERS
Yes, Coach.
COACH
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!!!
PLAYERS
YES, COACH!
COACH
I'M CERTAIN YOUR CLASSMATES WILL
HELP YOU IN THIS ENDEAVOR--
Coach Turnbill moves to the player next to Buster, pass
receiver DARRYL CONNER, and glares at him.
COACH (CONT'D)
--SUCH THAT YOU WILL PREVAIL.
Coach Turnbill resumes his pacing.
IN THE MEANTIME, ARE YOU GOING TO
EAT HEALTHY?
PLAYERS
YES, COACH.
COACH
ARE YOU GOING TO GET ENOUGH SLEEP?
PLAYERS
YES, COACH.
COACH
ARE YOU GOING TO AVOID PARTIES LIKE
THE PLAGUE?
PLAYERS
YES, COACH.
COACH
ARE YOU GOING TO FUCK CHEERLEADERS?
PLAYERS
(mixed responses)
YES, COACH/NO, COACH
COACH
WHAT'S THAT?
PLAYERS
NO, COACH!
COACH
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU LOSERS
DO AFTER THE SEASON IS OVER. BUT
UNTIL THEN, YOUR ASSES ARE MINE. IS
THAT CLEAR?
PLAYERS
YES, COACH.
COACH
IS THAT CLEAR!?
PLAYERS
YES, COACH!
COACH
ALL RIGHT. HIT THE SHOWERS!
The players get up and start to jog toward the locker rooms.
Buster jogs alongside Darryl.
BUSTER
Oh, man, what am I gonna do?
DARRYL
About what?
BUSTER
You know! How am I gonna pass this
test?
DARRYL
I dunno. Study?
BUSTER
Come on, Darryl! Really, what am I
gonna do?
DARRYL
Sounds like a job for Timothy.
BUSTER
No, Darryl! REALLY, what am I gonna
do?
DARRYL
I just told you.
BUSTER
Oh, man--
DARRYL
It's why we brought Tim into our
group in the first place. He's your
only hope, Obi-Wan.
BUSTER
Jesus, I am so fucked--
The boys pass by a group of cheerleaders who are also moving
toward the locker rooms. CHERYL SANDERS breaks off from the
pack, inserts herself between Darryl and Buster, and takes
each of them by the arm. The boys slow to a walk.
CHERYL
Boys, boys, boys! Why so glum?
BUSTER
Coach says I gotta study.
CHERYL
OH, THE HUMANITY. The CRUELTY of
forcing our star quarterback to
study like, like he was a common
STUDENT.
BUSTER
Don't be cocky about it, Cheryl.
Our star pass receiver is going
along for the ride.
CHERYL
What? Why?
DARRYL
Apparently, Coach doesn't trust
Buster to do this on his own. I'm
elected to be his keeper. If he
fucks up, I'm fucked, too.
CHERYL
OH, POOKIE. LIFE ISN'T FAIR. But if
it makes you feel any better, I've
got my own worries. I have a chem
final coming up on Friday.
DARRYL
I thought you had that figured out.
CHERYL
If I want a "B," yes. If I want an
"A," I need a little bit of help--
which is where your brilliant twin
comes in handy. I wanted to ask her
if I could come over tonight for
some tutoring, but I haven't seen
her all day.
DARRYL
Her class went on a museum field
trip. They'll drop her off at home
when they're done. But...I hoped we
could get together tonight, maybe
go to the drive-in and see
Creepshow--?
BUSTER
Hey, what about me? You don't
expect me to go over to Tim's by
myself, do you?
DARRYL
Coach didn't say I had to go to
your study sessions--
BUSTER
LIKE HELL HE DIDN'T. You CANNOT let
me be with Tim alone. I have a
reputation to uphold--
CHERYL
Besides, none of us has time for
movies until exams are over. The
drive-in and Creepshow will still
be there next week, Darryl.
DARRYL
Okay, okay. I'm overruled. Buster,
I'll call Tim and arrange it. You
get there by eight, alright?
BUSTER
Yeah, sure, I'm really lookin'
forward to seeing the nerd.
DARRYL
Don't sound so enthusiastic. Go on
-- I want to talk to Cheryl for a
sec.
BUSTER
Oh, are you going to whisper sweet
nothings in her ear?
DARRYL
Shut up and get outta here!
Buster laughs and continues ahead. Darryl and Cheryl slow
down, allowing all of the other players to get out of hearing
range.
CHERYL
I can imagine what you want to
discuss--
DARRYL
I bet you can.
CHERYL
Look, Darryl--
DARRYL
Cheryl, People are starting to
talk. In particular, my dad is
wondering what's going on--
CHERYL
It's okay, Darryl--
DARRYL
No, it's not. We hardly go out on
any dates. Even Dad is asking
questions--
CHERYL
Questions for which he doesn't want
to know the answers. And as long as
that's true, asking questions is as
far as he'll go.
DARRYL
You can't be sure of that.
Cheryl stops walking, forcing Darryl to face her directly.
CHERYL
Look, Darryl, I'm doing this as a
favor to YOU. I personally don't
give a shit what other people
think.
DARRYL
What are you saying--?
CHERYL
Don't worry, I agreed to keep up
this charade through the summer.
After that, we and everyone we care
about will be out of this backwater
town. Then we'll find an excuse to
"break up." We drifted apart, found
new fuck-buddies, whatever you want
to say. Okay? Just keep cool. No
one suspects the truth.
Darryl sighs and holds out his hand.
DARRYL
Okay, fine. Until then, can we at
least hold hands?
Cheryl smiles sweetly and takes his hand. They resume walking.
CHERYL
Of course. We wouldn't want other
people to talk, would we?
INT. CONNER HOUSE -- DAY
SAM CONNER sits in his easy chair, reading a newspaper.
Beside him is a table with a half-empty beer bottle and a
plate piled with biscuits. Sam finishes eating and picks up
another one.
A television set, circa 1982, shows the evening news. As
Darryl walks in, the broadcast returns from a commercial
break.
FEMALE NEWS ANCHOR
A mystery disease known as the gay
plague has become an epidemic
unprecedented in the history of
American medicine.
Darryl gapes at the screen, taken aback by the commentary.
FEMALE NEWS ANCHOR (CONT'D)
That was the report today from the
Centers for Disease Control in
Atlanta. Topping the list of likely
victims are male homosexuals who
have many partners--
Sam squints in irritation.
SAM
Goddam it, don't they have sports
on this channel anymore?
DARRYL
I'm pretty sure they'll get to it
in a minute, Dad--
Sam impatiently picks up the remote and changes the channel
until he finds a sports broadcast.
SAM
There ya go. Say, how was practice?
DARRYL
What?
SAM
Practice? How'd it go?
DARRYL
Oh...okay. We did great. We'll
kill'em on Saturday.
SAM
Good to know! Is there another
practice before then?
DARRYL
Nah. Coach says we're ready. He
would rather we rest up and study
for our finals.
SAM
Huh. They sure softened up since my
days on the field. You ready to
watch tonight's game?
DARRYL
I wish I could. Buster and I need
to study for our math test.
SAM
Study? You already study your ass
off.
DARRYL
Yeah, well, Buster doesn't, and
I've been made his designated
driver.
SAM
His what?
DARRYL
His designated -- it means I've got
to make sure he passes his math
final so he qualifies to play in
the game.
SAM
Oh. So you're going to tutor him?
DARRYL
Nah, he's beyond my skills. We're
going over to Tim's.
Sam's face darkens.
SAM
That kid. I told you, I don't want
you hangin' around him--
DARRYL
That kid is getting Buster and me
through algebra.
SAM
You KNOW what he is, right--? He's
one of those goddam--
MARGARET CONNER comes in from the kitchen wearing her apron.
MARGARET
Sam! Language!
SAM
Yeah, yeah. Look, he's almost 18.
It's nothin' he ain't heard on the
football field by now.
MARGARET
You also have a daughter. Did that
ever occur to you?
SAM
How is she going to hear anything I
have to say? She's on the phone all
the time.
Darryl rolls his eyes. He's heard this discussion many times
before.
Curious, he takes one of the biscuits off the plate and bites
into it. His face screws up in disgust.
DARRYL
OH, MY GOD. What is this?
Sam laughs.
SAM
Those are country ham biscuits
courtesy of your Aunt Gladys. She
dropped them off this afternoon.
MARGARET
Samuel Conner, did you eat all of
those biscuits? YOU'LL RUIN YOUR
DINNER.
Sam grunts to indicate his lack of concern.
DARRYL
Geez, it's like pure salt. How do
you eat this stuff, Dad?
Sam shrugs.
SAM
THEY'RE GOOD.
MARGARET
I don't know how you stand them,
either...
Margaret and Sam continue their banter. Darryl moves to the
kitchen where his sister, HANNA, is on the phone.
INT. KITCHEN IN CONNER HOUSE - DAY
HANNA
--you really said that? What did HE
say--?
DARRYL
Hey, kid sister, Cheryl needs to--
Hanna holds her hand over the receiver.
HANNA
Yeah, I'm talking to her now. She's
coming over right after dinner.
DARRYL
Okay, then. Can you end your call
and give me the phone? I need to
call Tim and arrange my own study
session for Buster and me.
HANNA
Yah, sure.
Hanna takes her hand off the receiver.
HANNA (CONT'D)
Hey, girl, your boyfriend needs the
phone. Oh, no, not to talk to YOU.
He needs to talk to TIM.
Darryl grimaces.
DARRYL
Just give me the phone, squirt.
Hanna laughs.
HANNA
Bye. See you after dinner.
Hanna gives Darryl the phone.
TRANSITION TO:
TIM WESTON'S BEDROOM -- LATER THAT NIGHT
TIM WESTON is a slight, bespeckled student, a quintessential
nerd.
Tim's bedroom is small but neatly furnished. Posters from
Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back cover the walls. The
bookshelf has a group of science, math, and science fiction
books.
Tim stands in front of a small blackboard.
Darryl and Buster sit on a small bed across from Tim, taking
notes.
TIM
So, what is negative six plus
negative twelve?
BUSTER
Negative eighteen?
TIM
Yes! Exactly!
BUSTER
Well...shit. Is that what they mean
by negative numbers? It's just like
gettin' pushed back from the line
of scrimmage?
Tim smiles.
TIM
Yes, it's exactly like that.
BUSTER
Hell, I can figure that out in my
sleep.
TIM
Good! Then we can move on to--
Suddenly, there is a cracking sound. Buster drops a bit into
the mattress.
BUSTER
Shit, what was that?
DARRYL
I...think we may have cracked one
of the support slats--
Buster and Darryl get up and reflexively lift the mattress.
TIM
Hey, no don't--
Under the mattress is a magazine. Buster and Darryl do a
double-take, then stare at Tim, who has a look of horror on
his face.
TIM (CONT'D)
Hey, guys, please, don't--
Darryl holds up his palm in a calming gesture.
DARRYL
Hey, man, it's okay, it's none of
our business--
Buster ignores Tim and Darryl, picks up the magazine, and
lets the mattress fall back in place. As he looks at the
magazine cover, his jaw drops.
BUSTER
Oh, shit. This is--
Buster flips the magazine over and opens up the centerfold.
Darryl and Buster both look at the picture and are surprised
by what they see.
DARRYL
--oh, MAN, that is NASTY--
Tim's face contorts in embarrassment.
BUSTER
This settles whether he likes boys
or girls.
TIM
GUYS!
DARRYL
Yep, it sure does.
TIM
GUYS, THAT'S PRIVATE!
END ACT I
ACT II
TIM'S BEDROOM -- CONTINUED FROM PART ONE
Darryl and Buster are staring at the centerfold picture.
TIM
GUYS, THAT'S PRIVATE!
DARRYL
She sure doesn't seem concerned
about HER privacy.
BUSTER
Boy, HOWDY.
In the background, we hear a phone ring in another part of
the house. A muffled female voice answers it.
Tim steps across the room and grabs the magazine.
TIM
LIKE I SAID, IT'S PRIVATE.
Darryl and Buster smile.
DARRYL
Hey, man, sure. But where'd you
even get somethin' like that? Not
down at Woolworth's.
TIM
Well...some guys pay money for
tutoring, some pay in other ways--
BUSTER
Well, it's...kind of surprising.
TIM
What do you mean?
BUSTER
Well, we weren't sure you...well...
Tim frowns.
TIM
What?
DARRYL
We weren't sure you...liked girls.
TIM
What? Of course, I like girls--
There's a knock on the door. Before they can answer, the door
opens. Tim quickly hides the magazine behind his back. TIM'S
MOTHER steps into the room holding a phone receiver.
TIM'S MOTHER
Darryl, it's your mother.
Somethin's wrong with your father.
DARRYL
What? What's wrong?
TIM'S MOTHER
I don't know. Your mother isn't
makin' much sense--
Darryl takes the phone.
DARRYL
Mom? What? He fell asleep? During
the game--? Yeah, Mom, I'll be back
in a minute. Listen, Mom, you need
to hang up, dial the operator, and
ask for an ambulance, okay? Right,
now, Mom, understand?
Darryl hands the phone back to Tim's mother.
DARRYL (CONT'D)
Guys, I gotta go.
Darryl quickly strides out of the room, leaving his books
behind.
EXT. BETWEEN TIM'S AND DARRYL'S HOUSES -- NIGHT
Darryl runs from Tim's house to his home across the street.
INT. LIVING ROOM IN DARRYL'S HOUSE -- NIGHT
A football game is in progress on the TV. Sam lies
unconscious in his easy chair. His skin is beet red. Darryl
walks over to him and shakes him by his shoulders.
DARRYL
Dad? DAD? WAKE UP, DAD! DAD!!
Sam remains unconscious. Margaret is on the phone, stammering
out their address. Darryl continues to shake his father to no
effect.
Abruptly, someone approaches Darryl from behind, takes him by
the shoulders, and pushes him aside. It's Tim.
DARRYL (CONT'D)
Tim, what--?
TIM
QUIET! Let me check him.
Tim puts the index and second finger of his right hand
against Sam's neck. He checks his watch for a few seconds. He
then puts his cheek close to Sam's nose for another few
seconds.
TIM (CONT'D)
Give me the phone.
Neither Darryl nor Buster moves. Tim stands upright.
TIM (CONT'D)
DARRYL, GIVE ME THE PHONE. NOW!
Shocked out of his paralysis, Darryl moves into the kitchen
and exits with the phone receiver with the phone cord
dragging behind it. He hands it over to Tim. Tim speaks into
the phone.
TIM (CONT'D)
I have a male, late-forties,
unconscious and unresponsive. Pulse
is 120. Breathing is shallow. His
skin is bright red. Pupils--
Tim uses his free hand to push up Sam's eyelids.
TIM (CONT'D)
--look normal.
Tim listens on the phone for a few seconds.
TIM (CONT'D)
Yes, I can do that. Right away.
Tim turns to Buster and Darryl.
TIM (CONT'D)
Move him down to the floor
CAREFULLY. Don't drop him. HURRY!
Darryl and Buster quickly pick up Sam and move him onto the
floor. Tim hands Darryl the phone.
TIM (CONT'D)
Stay on the line. Tell me anything
they say.
Tim checks Sam's airway to make sure it's clear, then starts
giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Tim speaks between
breaths.
TIM (CONT'D)
Buster, go out to the street. Flag
down the ambulance.
Buster nods and goes out the door. Tim goes back to his
mouth-to-mouth.
Margaret enters the room, looking distraught. Between
breaths, Tim speaks to her:
TIM (CONT'D)
Mrs. Conner, what did Mr. Conner
eat and drink this evening?
MARGARET
Oh, I...I--
DARRYL
He had a plate of country ham
biscuits, then meat loaf, mashed
potatoes, and green beans for
dinner.
TIM
What did he drink?
DARRYL
Coffee, I think. Mom, is that
right?
Margaret nods weakly.
TIM
Any alcohol? Beer, mixed drinks?
DARRYL
I don't know. Mom?
MARGARET
Why...yes, one or two beers...maybe
three...
TIM
Okay, I have to keep this up. When
the ambulance gets here, tell them
what you just told me.
Darryl and Margaret stay on the sidelines, looking helpless.
MARGARET
Where's Hanna? Can't she hear
what's going on?
Margaret wanders out of the room.
INT. HANNA'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT
Margaret opens the door and walks into the bedroom. She
begins to speak, then stops, shocked by what she sees. Hanna
and Cheryl are together in bed having sex. They reflexively
pull the sheets up over them, but it's too late. Margaret has
seen it all.
HANNA
Mom? MOM!!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING--?!
Margaret stares for a few more moments, then gathers herself
enough to respond.
MARGARET
Your...your father. He's...sick. We
called an ambulance.
HANNA
Dad? What happened--?
MARGARET
We don't know. Please...get
dressed. We have to go...
Margaret closes the door. Hanna and Cheryl look at each
other.
END ACT II
ACT III
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT
Darryl, Hanna, and Margaret are sitting down, anxious and
worried. The doctor comes into the room. They stand up.
DOCTOR
He's stable. It was rough going for
a few minutes, but he's out of
danger.
Margaret, in tears, can't respond. Hanna comforts her.
DARRYL
What's wrong with him?
DOCTOR
We'll have to do some more tests to
be certain, but it looks like a
high blood pressure attack.
MARGARET
High blood pressure? He's never had
a problem with his blood pressure.
DOCTOR
It's like that sometimes. You can
go a long time with this condition
without knowing you have it. It's
my understanding that he consumed a
large amount of salt and caffeine.
DARRYL
Yeah, he had a plate of country ham
biscuits. He washed it down with a
pot of coffee.
DOCTOR
That'll do it. On their own, either
salt or caffeine is pretty
dangerous for someone with your
high blood pressure. Combined, it
was like poison. His blood pressure
reading was extremely high. It's
remarkable that he didn't have a
stroke.
HANNA
Will...will he be okay?
DOCTOR
Yes, with the proper diet and
medication, he should be able to
recover and avoid future attacks.
But he's very lucky to be alive.
Darryl, if you hadn't given him
mouth-to-mouth--
DARRYL
It wasn't me. A friend of mine did
it.
DOCTOR
Let me guess -- was he the one
who told us your father's vital
signs and what was in his stomach?
DARRYL
Yes, sir.
DOCTOR
That's why they pumped his stomach
on the way to the hospital. Your friend
saved his life.
DARRYL
Wow. I...thank you, doctor. I'll let him
know.
DOCTOR
You do that. And ask him whether
he's considered going into the
medical profession. If so, give him
my number and have him give me a call.
MARGARET
What about Sam? Can he go home?
DOCTOR
We need to keep him here overnight
for observation, but if all goes
well, he should be discharged by
tomorrow afternoon. You should go
home. Get some rest.
DARRYL
Thanks, doc, we will. Come on, Mom.
TRANSITION TO:
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - NIGHT
Margaret, Darryl, and Hanna exit the hospital room.
MARGARET
I have to go to the restroom. I'll
be right back, then we can go home.
DARRYL
Sure, Mom, take your time.
Margaret goes into the restroom. Hanna waits for the door to
close.
HANNA
Darryl -- Mom...walked in on us.
DARRYL
Walked in on you? What do you mean-
-?
HANNA
I mean, Cheryl and me. She and
I...we...we were...
DARRYL
Oh, my god, Hanna, you DIDN'T--!
HANNA
Cheryl thought I locked the door, I
thought SHE locked the door--
DARRYL
Oh, man. No wonder Mom looks so
shellshocked.
HANNA
Darryl, what am I gonna do--?
Hanna hugs him, buries her face in his shoulder, and starts
to sob. Darryl tries to comfort her. Onlookers, used to such
scenes in a hospital, pay them no mind.
DARRYL
Look, Hanna...
Darryl pulls her over to a bench. They sit down.
HANNA
What'll I say...? To her? To DAD?
DARRYL
Nothing. Not a goddamn thing.
HANNA
But, Darryl--
DARRYL
You know what Mom is going to do
about this? I'll tell you. The same
thing she does about every other
problem this family has — nothing.
If you don't bring it up, neither
will she. She sure as shit won't
tell Dad.
HANNA
You really think--?
DARRYL
I'm sure of it. Remember, I'm older
and wiser than you.
Hanna laughs through her tears.
HANNA
You're only 20 minutes older,
asshole.
DARRYL
Yeah, well, in 20 minutes, you'll
come to the brilliant conclusion
that I'm right.
INT. LOCKER ROOM - DAY
The team is in their football gear and lined up. Buster and
Darryl stand next to one another. Coach Turnbill paces in
front of them.
COACH
I HOPE YOU GENTLEMEN ENJOYED YOUR
LITTLE VACATION. NOW THAT YOU'VE
GOTTEN YOUR BEAUTY REST, ARE YOU
READY TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THESE
GUYS?
PLAYERS
YES, COACH.
COACH
I SAID, ARE YOU READY?!
PLAYERS
YES, COACH!
COACH
ALL RIGHT! I'M ALSO GLAD TO HEAR
THAT EVERYBODY GOT THROUGH THEIR
TESTS WITH A PASSING GRADE. I'M
VERY IMPRESSED--
Turnbill glares at Buster.
COACH (CONT'D)
--AND DOWNRIGHT ASTONISHED.
Turnbill moves down the line and stops in front of Darryl.
COACH (CONT'D)
I heard about your Dad, Conner. Is
he doin' okay?
DARRYL
Yes, Coach, he's fine. He's still
recovering and couldn't make it to
the game.
Turnbill nods and starts to move on. Then he comes back and
moves in close to Darryl.
COACH
Say...is it true that the Weston
kid gave your dad mouth-to-mouth?
Darryl pauses before answering.
DARRYL
Yeah. Yeah, he did.
The coach chuckles.
COACH
I bet it's gonna really put sand in
Sam's grits when he finds out he
was deep-throated by that faggot.
There are a few titters of laughter from some of the players.
Buster and Darryl do not laugh.
Darryl glares down at the coach for several long seconds,
saying nothing. Then:
DARRYL
Actually, I have it on good
authority that Tim is not a faggot.
COACH
HA! Sure he isn't.
DARRYL
But, if he was a faggot and he
asked me to suck his cock in return
for saving my father, I'd drop to
my knees and give him the best blow
job of his life.
That wipes the smirk right off Turnbill's face. Turnbill
darkens with fury. Dead silence fills the locker room.
Turnbill pulls back his hand, swings it around, and slaps
Darryl hard on the side of his face. Darryl doesn't try to
dodge, nor does he cry out. He turns back and looks down at
the coach, fury in his eyes, but says nothing.
COACH
HIT THE SHOWERS, YOU LITTLE SHIT!
YOU AIN'T PLAYIN' ON THIS TEAM
TONIGHT! I'LL SEE TO IT YOU NEVER
PLAY BALL IN THIS STATE EVER
AGAIN!!!!
DARRYL
Yes, sir.
Darryl calmly turns around and heads for his locker. A few
moments of stunned silence go by. Then Buster starts to
follow Darryl.
COACH
SPENCER! WHERE THE HELL DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE GOING?!
Buster turns back.
BUSTER
Tim's also MY friend. If he saved
my father's life and he asked for
it, I figure I'd give him a blow
job, too. Whatever punishment
Darryl deserves, I deserve.
COACH
YOU WANT TO THROW YOUR LOT IN WITH
THOSE FAGGOT LOSERS? I'LL DRUM YOU
RIGHT OUT OF HERE, TOO, BELIEVE YOU
ME!!! YOU'D BETTER THINK ABOUT WHAT
YOU'RE DOIN'!!!!
Buster shrugs.
BUSTER
I'm good at winnin' football games,
Coach. Not so good at thinkin'.
Buster turns and continues to walk.
EXT. THE LOCAL FOOD JOINT - LATER THAT NIGHT
Darryl, Buster, Tim, Cheryl, and Hanna sit at a picnic table.
Darryl, Cheryl, and Hanna sit on one side, in that order. Tim
and Buster sit on the other side of the table.
The camera is a close-up on the group, so we don't have a
clear view of the other tables. There is chatter from the
other customers, but they cannot be heard or seen clearly.
TIM
Holy, FUCKBALLS. What did he do
then?
DARRYL
He realized that he couldn't win
the game if he benched both of us.
After a few seconds, he screamed
for everybody to get on the field--
including Buster and me. So, we
did.
BUSTER
Just in time, too. I was about to
go back and beg him not to kick me
off the team.
Everyone laughs.
CHERYL
Guys, I'm proud of you. That was a
gutsy thing you did.
HANNA
But what about after the game? I
heard he was still pretty steamed.
DARRYL
Oh, yeah. He threatened to suspend
Buster and me. And you, too, Tim.
TIM
What? What did I do?
BUSTER
Nothin'. He was just in a
threatenin' mood. But I took care
of him.
CHERYL
Oh? YOU took care of him? How?
BUSTER
I told him my father is a lawyer
and that he would appeal our
suspensions to the school board. He
backed off real quick.
HANNA
Your father? I thought he was a
bank teller.
BUSTER
Coach didn't know that.
Everyone laughs again.
CHERYL
Okay, I need to take care of some
of this non-alcoholic beer. Hanna,
you want to come with?
HANNA
Sure. Back in a minute, guys.
Please, try not to get into any
more trouble.
Darryl looks Cheryl in the eye, then Hanna.
DARRYL
You, too.
Hanna and Cheryl leave.
TIM
Darryl...thanks. You didn't have to
stick up for me like that--
DARRYL
You saved Dad's life. I wasn't
gonna let that chickenshit turn it
into something ugly.
TIM
You, too, Buster. I didn't save
YOUR father's life.
BUSTER
No, but you did get me through that
math final, which was just about as
miraculous.
This continues to be a learnin'
experience. Right now, I'm learnin'
the meaning of the phrase, "No good
deed goes unpunished."
Buster uses his beer bottle to gesture around them. The
camera pulls back. All the adjacent picnic tables are empty.
Tables farther out are packed with students stealing furtive
glances at our guys.
DARRYL
Yep. It's gonna be a looonngggg
summer.
TIM
And all because those idiots think
we're gay.
Darryl and Buster exchange knowing glances.
DARRYL
Actually, there is exactly one gay
guy sitting at this table.
Tim looks at Darryl and Buster, stunned at the admission.
TIM
What? Who?
Darryl and Buster smile and take another swig of their fake
beer.
END ACT III